Have you ever just wanted to leave? To drop everything and just disappear?
Your answer is probably yes.
Stress makes people do crazy things. Some people go out and drink away the stress. Some stay home and binge watch a show on Netflix. Some go to sleep.
Then there are people who pack a bag, get in the car, and just drive away. They leave their family, friends, and everything they care about behind. Some know where they’re going, some don’t have a single idea. They just need to leave, and they don’t care where they go, as long as they don’t have to deal with the problem.
I wish I could be one of those people. I wish I could drop everything and disappear. I wish I could care less about what leaving would do to the people I care about. Thinking about the stress it would cause them stresses me out even more. I don’t want to be stressed. I don’t want to think about it. I just want to get in my car and disappear.
But I can’t. I can’t disappear on my family. My mother needs me to take care of the things she physically cannot take care of. My siblings need me to be there for them, to help them through this tough time in our lives. My dad needs me to take care of the things he can’t be here to take care of. My boyfriend needs my emotional support to get through this stressful time in his life. My friends need me to be there when they feel down.
A lot of people are relying on me. I can’t just disappear, even though my heart is screaming at me to leave. I’m envious of those that can, without caring about the consequences.
I guess my problem is that I love a lot, and care too much. Is that a crime? Probably not. Is it a life-sentence? Definitely. Am I complaining? 100%. Is my situation worse than anyone else’s? Definitely not. But everyone needs to vent from time to time. This is me venting. I don’t want sympathy, I don’t need advice. I just needed to let off some steam.
If you made it to the end, great, thanks for reading. I hope you have a wonderful, stress-free day.